Your response to hurt and offense to a person is not contingent on what they have done or who they have been. It is contingent on what Christ commanded.
Romans 5:8
There is a version of love that almost everyone is capable of; the kind of love that shows up when someone has been good to you. Most people, believers or not, can manage this kind of love. It does not require anything particularly supernatural, it just requires that the other person be worth it, but what Jesus commanded those who believe Him and follow Him is something different entirely.
John 13:34-35
New King James Version
34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.
35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.
"...love one another; as I have loved you...". Sometimes you forget that God didn’t just love you when you were perfect and unstained. He loved you when you were deep in sin, undeserving. When you hated Him and his words, He loved you still. And in the same way, the measure of the love you are commanded to give is the measure of the love Christ gave; Christ gave it while you were undeserving, unresponsive, and actively contrary to Him. He didn’t just love you but showed His love by dying for you.
Romans 5:8
New King James Version
8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
While you were still a sinner,
God did not wait for the condition of your heart to improve before loving. He showered His love on people who had nothing to offer in return, at the highest possible cost to Himself.
And this love is given to you both as a gift and a commandment to reciprocate. And this is where many believers stall because there is THAT specific person you know whom you don't feel easy to love, maybe for good reasons. Maybe they hurt you. Maybe they have been consistently difficult. Maybe they have taken more than they have given and shown no sign of stopping. Maybe the relationship is marked by a specific wound that has not fully healed and may not for a while. But yet. What Christ commands does not come with an exception for that person. The command does not say "love one another, except in cases where the history is complicated." It does not say "love one another, once you have worked through your feelings about it." It says love one another as I have loved you and He loved you before you were ready, before you deserved it, before you even recognised what He was doing.
This does not mean love is without wisdom. It does not mean you are required to place yourself in harm's way or pretend that what was done was acceptable. The command to love is not a command to be naive. But it is a command to make a decision that the flesh, left to itself, will always find a reason to delay, because the flesh is very good at building a case. It will point out that the other person has not changed and probably will not. And honestly, that doesn’t matter much.
Your response to hurt and offense to a person is not contingent on what they have done or who they have been. It is contingent on what Christ commanded. And what Christ commanded, He first demonstrated fully, at great cost, toward people who gave Him every reason not to.
So, it is important you know that forgiveness and love would not always be easy but you can rest on the power of the Holy Spirit which enables you and know above all that you have a high priest who has gone ahead of you, felt all you are feeling and gave you the power to overcome it all. Jesus was betrayed but still loved.
This is the word of God to you today. Forgive and love regardless.
Prayer
Father, help me to love not based on what people deserve but from what You demonstrated. Teach me to love as You have loved me, without condition, without waiting, without withholding, loving people with the love of Christ as empowered by your Spirit in me. In Jesus' name, Amen.
